Perfection is NOT a worthwhile goal.
Isn’t it time you started telling yourself that? Or stop thinking it’s a necessary commodity of life? Realistically, you can be the best you can be but perfect is subjective as well and often unattainable in most situations. Even if it is attainable in some areas of life, it isn’t always “maintainable”.
Perfection is driven by fear! Don’t shake your head at this one coz it’s true. It could be fear of being unloved or fear of rejection if you don’t maintain a certain look or attitude. We’ve all been there. Some of us when we were teenagers and thinking we had to have the perfect look to get that one we’d longed for. Some of as adults, we strive for perfection thinking that’s how we’re expected to be, to be that “perfect” role model. At some point ask yourself, is it worth it? Does this drive for perfection elevate or diminish you as a person? Personally, I think it diminishes people.
Perfection can be frustrating!! I can already see a few of you out there nodding your head in agreement with this. Pressure piles up like heat in a pressure cooker. For women it can be in the sense of fashion, having the perfect hairdo, having the makeup applied perfectly, unflawed. That one, I must admit, I can NOT relate to. The last time makeup went anywhere near me was in 1998. But I see the pressure building up in my friends. Many times I’ve thought “You are going to blow shortly.” Just like the pressure cooker. Always pursuing but never achieving or “perfecting” can lead to stress, depression and a wasted life.
Unresolved issues can fuel your drive – A great example with this is broken families. What started off as a happy whole unit family, broke down over time, leading to complete separation. You may have been shuffled from 2 different addresses, and not really having that sense of a whole family unit anymore. Instead of dealing with the fact that your parents divorced, you drive yourself to be the perfect partner/parent so that doesn’t happen to you and your kids. One doesn’t absolve the other.
The pursuit of perfectionism brings pain, dissatisfaction and self-loathing.
What’s wrong with being yourself? Break free and learn to accept yourself as you are.
Acceptance is not Surrender
When we accept who we are, some may think that we’re settling for less than we should, that we’ve given up. One word for that…BULLSHIT!! That couldn’t be farther from the truth. When you stop running and chasing unattainable goals, you’re forced to look at yourself. While you’re still chasing, you can still pretend that you’re someone you are not. All of your energy is spent making people in your life believe a lie. It’s nothing but exhausting and leads to more dissatisfaction within because you feel like a failure.
A new, and much happier, life begins when you stop and begin looking within for what you seek.
“I am Me”
Say it, accept it…LOVE IT!! You can’t become someone else. If perfection is something that you crave, then think of it this way, NOBODY on this planet can perfect being you….except you.
Being human is not easy – We’re creatures who have made mistakes in the past. And like it or not, will continue to do so. Mistakes keep us honest in our opinion of ourselves. No one can do it all or is expected to. Mistakes are proof we’re trying!
Turn weakness into strength – What others may view as flaws can actually be what makes you so unique. Instead of trying to pretend you’re perfectly put together when you are anything but, embrace your spontaneity and creative side. Any weakness can be turned into strength when you accept it as a part of you through love.
Choose a path – You may need to make a detour at some point or another but it takes courage to even take the first step of a life journey. You won’t go anywhere if you continue to hide who you are because others may not accept your flaws. The truth is that your celebration of your flaws makes them feel insecure.
Laugh at yourself – The quickest way to diffuse embarrassment is to laugh at your mistake. It takes too much energy to be mad or ashamed. You are not the first to make that faux pas and you won’t be the last. Accept it.
Imperfection is not the opposite of perfection. Instead, imperfection is the state of acceptance of self through love. Without seeing who you truly are, you won’t know what to change and what to keep. Perfectionism just throws everything out the window and anything done out of self-hate doesn’t usually last because you are always criticising your efforts.
Imperfections make you human and happy. Accept and embrace you by celebrating why you are unique. Get reacquainted with yourself, you may just find that you like that person more than the one you were trying to perfect
Til next time,
Stay safe, Stay smiling!