Do you put everyone before yourself? Is saying yes a habit, more than a true intention? If more people helped others, the world would be a better place. This may be true to a certain extent, but it could also be detrimental for yourself.
This behaviour can lead to you not taking care of your personal obligations, developing resentment for those around you, and eventually feeling under-appreciated and taken advantage of.
Your Relationships Can Suffer
If you can’t say no, you probably have a desire to help everyone and make everyone happy. This isn’t a bad thing but sometimes, trying to please everyone means leaving some people out. You have already agreed to so many obligations there is not enough time left on your schedule. Also, when you take on too many commitments, the quality of your efforts can suffer. This means your personal and business relationships can be damaged as a result. Quality beats quantity any day!
You May Begin to Resent Yourself
A lot of “yes” people, deep down, do not like that part of their personality. They realise that they are stress-filled because they’re constantly trying to keep everyone around them happy. They see their own obligations taking a backseat, while the people they do favours for advance in business and in their personal lives. This can cause you to resent yourself, as you recognise your people-pleasing personality is pleasing everyone but you. As selfish as it may sound, sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture and see if saying yes is going to benefit only the recipient
You May Be Hurting Those You Care About
If you do everything for your friends, family members and coworkers, they never experience growth. You limit their ability to take on new tasks successfully when you can’t help them, because they may not know what to do on their own. Even if you see someone you care about struggling in a particular endeavour, sometimes it’s best to let them learn the process themselves, as this develops a new skill and an improved sense of self-esteem. That doesn’t mean walk away altogether and let them deal with the issue themselves, it just means take a back seat to the task at hand instead.
You Might Be Wrong
Is your every behaviour dictated on what you think will please someone else? This is the case with a lot of people pleasers. They try to perceive what will make others happy, and then act accordingly, even if it messes up their own situation. One important fact to remember is you are not a mind reader. Trying to assume what will keep everyone happy could lead to the opposite result.
After reading this, will you keep saying Yes, even when you really want to say No?
Til next time,
Stay safe, stay smiling 🙂